‘Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage’. – Lao Tzu
The truth of this statement resonated with me recently. I like to think I am very independent, able to make my own way in the world. It’s not that I didn’t admit to needing love but more about how I viewed myself. I wanted a partner but was not prepared to compromise my hard won freedom.
In my efforts to find my one true love I discovered I had to go further than I had ever gone before in my journey of self-healing. As my self-esteem improved I set my heights high. No longer was I going to compromise my values, my ambitions or the essence of who I was. As you can imagine this narrowed the field of opportunity somewhat. To paraphrase Shirley McLaine I was going out on a limb where the sweetest fruit is supposed to be.
To put it in a nutshell I had very high expectations of the one who would love me unconditionally who I would also love unconditionally and spend the rest of my life with. Predictably, I had created my own downfall. There aren’t too many people walking the earth who matched my expectations. Every dinner date, party or introduction was a severe disappointment until I began to convince myself that I was living in fairy land and resigned myself reluctantly to a single life.
Somewhere deep inside I knew I was failing myself; I wanted true love. I had high standards. Why should I compromise? Why could I not meet someone with a loving heart who was compatible with me? For years I could not find an answer.
About three years ago, just before I gave up for good, I looked at the whole issue of attracting love again. I engaged deeply with the quest for my Soul Mate. Something about this round of learning polished the windows of my perception. The source of my problem, my frustration, was with me all along. I kept meeting my mirror – men who wanted a great partner but who believed she didn’t exist. I had to face it – somewhere buried in my unconscious was the conviction that I could never have what I wanted because it didn’t exist.
Wow! Did that realisation turn things around for me? Faulty belief systems which are often unconscious take effort and determination to shift. But the rewards are worth it.
Within months I met a great man. Someone I would not have envisaged myself with but who is committed to loving and supporting me. He is ever-willing to champion my dreams. He is full of encouragement and praise. He existed all along but I couldn’t meet him until I was ready to admit that such people do exist. Until I truly felt I deserve it.
To assist people to overcome the hidden blockages to love I developed a 7 week-long workshop entitled Calling in Your Soul Mate. For further details: email jasminohara@hotmail.com or call 0410832362
